Endless Tears: Chapter 1

Busan, 2003 

“Hoya!” I heard my mum’s voice, it was echoing inside my head as she yelled my name out loud.

“Yes, yes,” I replied as I got up from my sit, scratching my ears, annoyed.

“Send this to Grandma Kim, okay?” she asked me, more like commanding me to do it, actually. But, I didn’t really mind as I loved Grandma Kim and I was going to her house, anytime soon, of the day, of course.

My mum put some food from the pot on the kitchen, onto a large food container.

“Here, take this,” she said while closing the container with its lid and passed it to my bare hands.

“Mum, watch it,” I whined. “It’s still hot,” I continued, annoyed.

I grabbed for some tissues and went to lift the container again.

I went to the living room and grab my winter coat.

“I’ll go out,” I shouted from the front door, while putting on my shoes. “Huh, lucky it’s cold out here,” I whispered, rubbing both of hands to produce some heat and lifted the container afterwards.

I walked across the street, where Grandma Kim’s house was located. I walked happily to meet my favorite grandmother. Even though we were not related by blood, I loved her a lot, since my real grandmother dead.

I finally made it to her doorstep.

“Grandma, grandma!” I called out as I was knocking her door.

“Wait,” I heard a voice from inside, so I stopped my knocking.

The door was cracked open as I saw her old figure, the calm face and warm gaze from her eyes.

“Hoya, it’s you,” she said when she saw my face behind the door. I smiled to her as I lifted up the container, gesturing that the container was for her.

“Oh, come in,” she said as she tried to take the container from me.

“Let me take this to the kitchen,” I offered, preventing her from taking the container from me.

She smiled and ruffled my hair. I gave a big grin to her as I made my way into her house, all the way to the kitchen.

“Thank you, Hoya. Send my thank you to your mum too,” she said, gratefully. “And, sorry that I can’t drop by your house, this leg won’t make a very far steps,” she told me, sighing.

“It’s okay, grandma. I can always come here,” I said, comforting her. “Plus, in this kind of weather, you better stay inside. It’s freezing,” I said as I faked a trembling hands.

She threw a laugh. “You’re the only kid that can say that,” she said while ruffling my bangs. “How’s school going?” she asked as I helped her to sit on the floor in the living room.

“Not bad, just okay. I’m studying the same thing as many other middle school student,” I replied, taking out my winter coat and let it hanging.

“Oh, you have started middle school?” she asked.

“Yes, I just did. I feel older,” I said, laughing at my own silliness.

She joined the laugh. “You must started to think of your future, old boy,” she commented between the laugh.

All of sudden, her laugh was fading away.

“Grandma, what’s wrong?” I asked her, furrowing my eyebrows. “Are you feeling not well?” I continued while reaching out my hands to check on her.

She shook her head and gave me a faint smile. “I’m just wondering if Hyemi has started the middle school as well,” she said, gazing into spaces.

Hyemi. I heard that one name a lot since I know Grandma Kim. She was one of her granddaughter. She missed her a lot because she never got to be with the girl as her daughter walked out of the house even before Hyemi was born. Grandma Kim only knew about the pregnancy of Hyemi. She never even met the real Hyemi yet.

I stared at her, let her be in her own world for a moment. She really missed her. To be honest, sometimes, I wondered if Hyemi was even born, because there were possibilities of her not being born, and I wondered if her name was Hyemi, because Grandma Kim said, she was the one who wanted to give the baby that name.

I saw a tear escaped her eyes, she wiped it away in an instant.

“Do you want to eat with me for lunch?” she asked me as she gave me a smile while sniffing.

“Yes, I would like to eat here,” I said with a cheerful tone and hands gesture, to make her happy and forget about Hyemi.

She chuckled and ruffled my hair. “Cute boy,” she said.

“Grandma, you love to ruin my hair,” I said, playfully pouting and crossing my arms.

She laughed at my childish act. “You wait here. Let me prepare the lunch,” she said, struggling to get up.

“I’ll help,” I said as I raised my hand up.

She shook her head as I helped her up. We were walking to the kitchen to make lunch together.

“Grandma,” I suddenly called out. “Even if Hyemi is not here, Hoya is here, right?” I said, as I saw her face constantly sad.

“Of course,” she smiled. “That’s why I love Hoya the best,” she continued as she cooked.

“If you miss Hyemi so much, I’ll dress up as Hyemi,” I said, seriously.

She broke into a laughter, endlessly. She ruffled my hair and muttered about me being stupid.

Well, as a kid, that was what I can think of. Later on, I joined her into the laughter as even me found my idea was stupid.

But, I was serious about making Grandma Kim happy. And, most of all, I wanted to meet Hyemi, so badly. Because I always wanted to be the dearest grandchild for Grandma Kim, but Hyemi was always in her heart. I always thought that Hyemi was very lucky.

“After this, you bring this home, okay?” Grandma Kim said, handing me a small container of food.

“Okay, grandma,” I said, and bowed.

“This isn’t much, but say thanks to your mum,” she said as she walked me to the doorstep.

“No problem, grandma. I’ll come by tomorrow,” I said as I was done putting my shoes on.

“Be careful, and study well,” she said as she waved goodbye to me. “Tell that to Jiwon and Hojin too,” she shouted as I walked away.

I turned back and waved her before crossing the street.