Endless Tears: Chapter 12

“Hyung, you’re back,” Myungsoo said, as he found me on the door.

“Jungyeol hyung knew about you,” Sungkyu hyung said, hanging his head low down. “Someone told him, they saw you at the hospital,” he continued.

“He’s coming,” Woohyun hyung said, pointing to the door.

“Hoya, you owe me an explanation,” the manager said. “But, I had no time for these,” he continued. “The news must be all over the internet by tomorrow morning,” he sighed.

“What are we going to do, hyung?” Dongwoo hyung asked.

“Tomorrow, you all have a radio broadcast corner, at KBS. That time, make a reasonable explanation. You must think of something, Hoya,” he ordered as he walked out.

“What are you going to do, hyung?” Sungyeol asked, as they all shrugged.

I went to sleep, but I couldn’t. In my head, it was Hyemi, all the time. I cried, blaming the heaven for giving Hyemi such a hard time. I cried as I fell asleep in my endless tears.

Tomorrow morning, I was awaken by Sungyeol. After washing up, I went to meet another member.

“What are you going to tell, hyung?” Sungjong asked me, concernedly.

“Maybe you can say that you’re sick that you need a hospital,” Sungkyu hyung suggested.

“Or, just happened to take some vitamins for energy,” Woohyun hyung added.

“I think,” I spoke up. “I’m going to tell the truth,” I decided.

We went to KBS building by our van. We reached there, that we were brought to the Kiss The Radio county. 

We started the show as usual, until Leeteuk sunbae asked me.

“Hoya, it was pretty hot article that yesterday you went to the hospital. Can you explain?” he asked.

“I was there to visit my girlfriend,” I started as the others was silent.

“So, right now, you’re admitting that you have a girlfriend,” Eunhyuk sunbae said to me.

“Yes, kind of,” I admitted. “She was my friend for 8 years. But, 5 years ago, I left her to chase my dream in Seoul,” I said, regretfully.

“So, you just met her again,” Leeteuk sunbae assumed.

“Yeah. I met her yesterday, for the first time after I left her 5 years ago,” I explained.

“She was sick,” Eunhyuk sunbae said.

“What is her disease?” Leeteuk sunbae asked.

“It is an incurable disease called Spinocerebellar ataxia. That was the doctor told me yesterday,” I uttered, sniffing.

The county got an awkward silent moment.

“Did the members know about this?” Leeteuk sunbae asked the others.

“No, we don’t,” Sungkyu hyung said, on behalf of the others, who was nodding, agreed.

“So, this is the first time, Hoya told about his feelings,” Eunhyuk sunbae assumed.

“Can you explain a bit about her condition? As we all rarely heard about the disease,” Leeteuk sunbae asked.

“According to the doctor, the disease related to the her brain cell. Her brain cell is slowly degenerating and will ended up dying,” I explained as tears welled up. “As the time passed and as the disease progressing, she will lose her ability in controlling her movement, one by one,” I said as my voice turned husky.

“Are you okay, Hoya?” Leeteuk sunbae asked, worried.

“I’m okay,” I said, sniffing. Sungkyu hyung handed me a tissue.

“How long she had the disease?” Eunhyuk sunbae asked.

“As I know from the doctor, she already had the symptoms when she was younger than 12. I was there when she fell and stumbled. But, I don’t know she was sick,” I said.

“How old is her right now?” Leeteuk sunbae asked.

“She’s in my age. Right now, she’s 20,” I replied.

“That means, she had the disease for 8 years already,” Leeteuk sunbae responded.

“Yeah, but she only knew it when she was 17. Even the doctor said, it was a bit late,” I stated.

“That was pretty painful for her and family, right?” Eunhyuk sunbae assumed.

“It was indeed, very painful to me too,” I said, throwing a sad laugh.

“We hope Hoya and also the girlfriend’s family, be strong,” Leeteuk sunbae said.

“If the girlfriend is listening, can you send a bit of your words to her on air?” Eunhyuk sunbae asked. “We would like to know your feelings for her,” he continued.

“Hyemi, hello,” I said, laughed. “It’s been a long time since our last meeting. Our last time was so happy and cheerful time for me. I didn’t expect to see you again in 5 years time like this. But, as long as it’s you, I want to meet you, no matter how the situation is. Please meet me because I want to meet you. There are many words that I want to say to you,” I said as I laughed and sniffed, swallowing my tears. “Hyemi, be strong and fighting! I love you,” I confessed.

“This is a sad story from Hoya,” Eunhyuk sunbae said.

“Let’s all pray for Hoya’s friend,” Leeteuk sunbae wished. “Can we know her name?” he asked.

“Shim Hyeyoung. But, I always called her by the name of Hyemi,” I said.

“Okay, we all hope that our dearest listener will pray for Hyemi’s health, and let’s all cheer her up to continue fight her disease,” Eunhyuk sunbae hoped.

“So, we go to the next song, I Loved You To Death by SG Wanna Be,” Leeteuk sunbae said and played the song.

“We’re sorry to hear that, Hoya,” Woohyun hyung said, patting my back.

“It must been painful for you,” Dongwoo hyung said, smiling bitterly to me.

I felt hurt. I felt like dying, every moment I need to tell myself about Hyemi. But, to think of it, things were even harder for Hyemi. And, as for me, I kept on questioning God and his purpose.