I knocked the door of our dormitory. And, after a moment of waiting, someone finally opened it.
“Oh, Hoya! You’re back,” Sungkyu hyung said after he saw me on the door.
“Yeah,” I mumbled and went straight inside the dorm, with my luggage.
“Oh, you’re back, dude,” Dongwoo hyung said, without facing me, who was giving full attention to the television.
I just went to the my room and unpacked my stuffs.
After a while, I saw Woohyun hyung came into my room.
“Are you okay?” he asked me, sitting on my the lower bunk, which was my bed.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, casually.
“Is there anything you would like to share?” Woohyun hyung asked again, narrowing his eyes. “You know, sooner or later, you have to tell us everything, right? We’re in one group, your heartbreaking story is our heartbreaking story too,” he claimed.
“No, I’m fine,” I said, confirming.
“Fine, if you say so,” he said, giving up on me.
“I’ll share when the time is come,” I uttered, with a faint smile.
“When that time is coming, we will ready to listen,” he said, patting my shoulder and left me, all alone, in the room.
I opened my luggage and found something that I should have brought along when I was leaving 5 years ago. My photo album, the photos that had been captured since I was born.
I flipped every pages, chuckling when I saw the younger version of myself. As I flipped every pages, I saw myself, growing up.
After a moment, I saw a picture of me, with Hyemi. That was the first picture I ever captured with her.
“Hyemi, we’re taking pictures, come on!” I said, as I dragged her to my yard.
“Come on, pose nicely,” my dad said while holding the camera.
“Hurry, hurry,” I rushed her to stand in front of me while I gave a peace sign and smiling towards the camera.
I laughed as I saw my happy and cheerful face in the picture while she got a confused look on her face. To think of it, it was a funny moment.
I flipped another pages, from that moment, from that first picture of us, she was there in my every pictures. During my first soccer competition, my dance practices, my brotherly picture with Jiwon hyung and Hojin, and even my family pictures. She was there.
Tears welled up in my eyes, making its way to escape. As I dropped my eyelids, the tears were making its way to my cheeks.
“Hyemi!” I shouted as I waved at her.
“Why did you call me that way, Howon?” she asked, frowned. “No one called me that when I was in France or Seoul,” she claimed, crossing her arms.
“Grandma called you that way to me,” I said, grinning. “And, call me Hoya. We’re close friends,” I claimed, hugging her shoulders.
“Okay, Hoya,” she gave in. “Oh, I know, you have nickname, so I have too. That’s why you called me Hyemi?” she asked.
I slapped my forehead. “I don’t know if that’s the reason. But, suit yourself,” I said, shaking my head. She gave me a confused look.
“Hey, enough with the name thing. You made me think and I’m confused myself,” I said, acting all dizzy as she giggled. “You’ve been to France! Tell me about France,” I exclaimed, in excited as she began to talk about it.
Hyemi. We had been so much through together. What was I thinking when I decided to go and left her all alone? I threw a long sigh.
I was sorry for not being with her even though she was always there for me. The thing that I regretted the most was for leaving her when she needed me. I couldn’t imagine how scared she could have been when Grandma Kim died.
She was there for me when I needed her but I couldn’t do the same for her. And, I hated myself for that.
“Hyemi, help me,” I pleaded, going down on my knees while holding my hands closed together.
“Oh god, Hoya, don’t do this,” she said, pulling me up with her big effort which didn’t seemed to work at all.
“Please, my dad is going to blow his top if I fail,” I said, holding onto her hands, tight. I was giving my pleading to her.
She rolled her eyes and closed it. “Fine, but last time. After this, you’re going to tuition with me. I’m not going to cheat for you, ever again,” she warned, pointing her finger in my face.
“Hyemi is the best! That’s why Hoya loved you,” I said, fist pumping as she smacked my head with her death glare.
I cried in the memories of her. I missed her. I loved her. And, I hadn’t told her yet. How I wished for her to be with me, because I needed her, more than ever, truthfully.
If only I could turn back the time, I would do anything stay by her side. If I got the second chance, I would have brought her along with me that time. I could have brought her along with me, so that I wouldn’t be alone these 5 years.
I closed my eyes, trying to sleep.
…Hoya is the best…
If not with you, I doubted it.
… You’re as great as ever and getting better, that’s it…
I wanted you to rate me, rather than my own instructor or choreographer.
… I’d support everything that you want to do. If this is what you want, then go for it…
I needed it, right now.
… I always know Hoya is a brave guy…
Not as brave as when you were by my side.
… You can throw to stone to my window. You know, if you need me for anything, anytime…
How I wish I could do that again.
… I want you to do well…
I was doing well, but you were still not here.
… I want you to know, you’re never going to be alone…
I was alone, without you.
I drifted to sleep with the memories of her and endless tears.
No comments:
Post a Comment