That day, it was snowing. I really wanted to go and play with the snow. It was really long time since I played out there.
That time, I really wanted to go and play. I didn’t care if I’m alone or what. I just wanted to go out and play.
“Doctor Shim, can I go out? I want to walk around the garden,” I asked. I waited for his permission as I changed my position from laying to sitting.
“Now?” he asked me back and I nodded in hope. “I don’t think so. It’s snowing,” he said as he was also felt sorry to make that decision.
“But, if you feel bored, Hwa Young can take you walk around the hospital,” he said as he looked at his nurse.
“It’s okay,” I said as I changed my position to lie again.
He sighed as he left the room with his nurse that very same day.
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That day, it was still snowing. But, it was harder than the day before. I know that day, I couldn’t go out as usual.
That very same day, there was a guy got hospitalized. I didn’t know why he got hospitalized. As I saw his condition, he might be injured his leg, cuz that was where the part of his body bandaged.
But, I’ve used to this. More once a year, someone will come and stay at the bed beside me. And, none of them stayed here as long as me.
“Hi! Nice to meet you!” he waved to me as he saw me. But, I said nothing to him. That makes him shut his mouth the whole day.
That night, as usual, I couldn’t sleep. I sat on my usual spot, beside the window, watched the snowflakes from the sky to earth.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I heard a voice and I turned my head to the source of the high pitched voice. “Not sleeping at this hour?” he continued but I ignored it and continue doing what I’ve been doing since I sat there.
“You’re mute?” he asked again. Okay, now what? Don’t he understand that a girl want to be alone?
“You’re mute, right?” he asked again as I continued ignoring him. “You can use sign language?” he asked again as I just wished that he was the one who mute. “You can’t?” he continued guessing as I got mad for not getting my usual silent night.
“I’m not mute. Now, you go sleep,” I said as I got angry to him. I thought he will go after I scolded him but, no.
He walked to me with the help of the crutch and sat next to me, at the very same window.
“What are you doing?” he asked. Okay, now, he stopped his guessing on me and asked the very same question from the beginning.
I tended to not answering his question as I continued watching the snowflakes with expressionless face.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he said while doing the same thing with me but with a very bright smile on his face as if he was so happy to see the snowflakes.
“What’s your name?” he asked as I looked at his face that was overflowing with his smile.
“Don’t you mouth hurt?” I asked him without realize that I did. I thought I just wanted to say it on my mind only.
“Why? What’s wrong?” he said as he touched his mouth.
“You’re smiling all the time and you’re talking non-stop. Don’t you think your mouth need to rest a bit?” I said as I ran my eyes from making eye-contact to his.
“It can rest when I sleep,” he said without a doubt.
I almost laughed at his answer. Oh god, it’s been a long time since I talked to someone other that Doctor Shim and Nurse Cho. And, little did I know, it was felt good. I was smiled.
“You’re smiling too. Is it hurt?” he asked and I didn’t answer that.
“So, what’s your name?” he asked again. He was quite persistent.
“Ye Eun,” I said as I looked outside the window again.
“Good! I waited all day long to get that,” he said as he got my attention. “I’m Jun Su. Kim Jun Su,” he said as he offered a handshake with his right hand.
I looked at his right hand. I looked at it without expression. No intention on taking his hand into mine.
Surprisingly, he actually took my hand into his. And, I gave him an awkward expression as he continued talking about everything. About how he was hospitalized and many more.
After that, as usual, I watched everything outside the window and eventually fell asleep.
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“Good morning, Ye Eun,” Nurse Cho greeted me as she saw I opened my eyes. “Have a good night sleep?” she asked as I realized that I opened my eyes while I lied on my bed.
“Yes, thanks, Nurse Cho,” I said as she gave me my usual scheduled medicine. I gulped the tablet and drank ½ water of the glass.
“Good sleep is good for your health, Ye Eun. You’re on your bed today. Doctor Shim must be so happy to hear this,” she said and she left me all alone in the room.
After a while I was alone. Then, I heard the sound of the door being open by someone. I took a peek to check who it was.
“Good morning, Ye Eun!” he said as he saw me sitting on my bed. He walked with the help of his crutch to my bed and sat beside me.
“I was walking around the hospital and around the garden too,” he said to me as I looked at him. “It’s snowing! It’s fun to play with it, you know?” he continued talking as usual.
“Was it you?” I asked as he eventually stopped talking and looked at my face. I ran my eyes from his face and said, “Did you take me to my bed last night?” I asked once again as I thought he didn’t get my question in the first place.
“Yeah, I saw you slept when I was talking to you,” he said as he looked at me. “It was rude, you know? I’m talking like crazy person,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I felt guilty for making him talking alone. “And, thank you,” I expressed.
“It’s okay, and I was joking about talking like crazy person. So, don’t be sorry,” he said as he laughed.
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“Ye Eun, I’m discharged today,” he said as he packed his belongings into his bag. As I thought, he would be gone.
“Thanks for accompanying me while I’m here,” he said as I nodded. Yes, it was like a week he was here. Accompany me, talking non-stop to me, watching the snow and winter night sky with me.
“I’ll be back to visit you, kay?” he said. I still didn’t look at his face.
“I’m going and no words from you?” he said, more like asking me to say something.
“Bye,” I said and lied on my bed, pulled my blanket and cover my body until my neck. I turned my back to him.
“I’m going,” he said as I didn’t look at him. “I’ll be back,” he said again as I heard he zipped his bag. “And, remember my word. Tomorrow will come, surely will come,” he said and I heard his voice no more.
Tomorrow will come…
“Hey, why don’t you sleep now?” he said as he yawned a few times.
“I want to watch the sky, the snow,” I said as I continued my usual thing at night.
“Just watch it tomorrow. Tomorrow never dies. It will surely come,” he said and yawned again.
“If you’re sleepy, then, go sleep,” I said and still at the same spot as ever.
“Let’s sleep now! Or else, I tell Doctor Shim that you aren’t sleeping all night,” he said as if I afraid of it. I still sat beside the window.
He walked to me and took my hand and said, “Please get some sleep. I couldn’t stand to just look at your sleepless night while I can’t accompany you,” he said as he able to move me from my spot and did the same to me heart.
“Tomorrow, we’ll watch the snow together. I’ll take you play outside,” he said as he put the blanket on me. “Don’t worry, tomorrow will always come,” he said as he also lied on his bed.
Yes, tomorrow will come. But, I’m not sure if I could come along with the tomorrow. And, that was the reason of my sleepless night. I couldn’t sleep because I afraid when I shut my eyes, they won’t be able to open again.
I cried as he gone through the door. I cried and cried until night. And, I feel it’s gotten harder to breathe. I gasped for my own breath.
I tried to survived and press the emergency button. But, the button felt like it was so hard to push. I tried and tried until I succeed.
After one minute gasping for breath, I could hear the voiced of Nurse Cho and Doctor Shim, the voice of worries. Then, everything in front of my eyes became vague. Doctor Shim gave me oxygen. But my vision had gotten blur and more blur and I couldn’t feel my own body anymore. My body couldn’t move any longer.
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