Silently Love You

~Hikari’s POV~

“Ishihara-san?” the manager called me.

“Hai? Nani?” I asked him.

“The song for Hanako. Is it ready?” he asked me.

“Ah. In progress. I maybe need someone to help me,” I said to him. He smile and nodded.

“Anou, Ishihara-san. Sakurai-san wants me to tell you that he want to have lunch with you today,” he told me and started to walk away.

“Hai. Arigatou gozaimashita,” I said.

~Satoshi’s POV~

“Hikari-chan! Here,” Sho called her. She smile and walk to our table. She sits in front of me.

“Hikari-chan, Ohno-kun, I wanna tell you guys something,” Sho started his talk. He looks so happy and excited.

“Nani?” I asked him. She looks at Sho with a curious look.

“Me and Hana-chan now is officially a couple,” Sho said.

“Eh?” I exclaimed. I look at Sho and her. She looks so uncomfortable and unhappy. She is lowering his head for a while. It looks like she’s gaining some strength.

She lift her head and says, “Omedettou, Sho-kun,” she said with a bright smile. The smile is so unreal and fake.

“Let’s eat now. Tomorrow, I’ll take you to meet her,” Sho said with a real bright smile, for ear to ear. I nodded. She also nodded with the same fake smile.

~Satoshi’s POV~

“Asami-san. Do you know where Ishihara Hikari-san is?” I asked the receptionist. She must be somewhere here. Hanako asked me to look for her to ask about her new song since she is going somewhere else with Sho.

“She’s in the studio,” she told me.

“Arigatou,” I said and bow. She bows back with smile. I go to the studio to find her.

I found her there. She sits in front of a laptop. Clicking something on the keyboard and produced some melody.

“How’s Hanako’s song?” I asked her. She turns her head and smile to me.

“I’ve finish with the melody. Just don’t have idea about the lyrics to fill in it,” She said without looking at my face.  Her eyes which is covered with spectacles is focusing a paper in front of her.

“Don’t have idea?” I asked and sit at an empty sits beside her. I saw a paper which contain lines of words. I read it.

Time by time

Day by day

I go through with your smile

You’re always by my side

Cuz you say friendship is a part of our life

“What is this?” I asked her. Deep down in my heart, I know it got something to do with Sho.

“Oh, just a words. It just happen come out of my mind. So, I write it down,” she said while taking the paper.

“It can be the lyrics, right. How you do it?” I asked her.

“Do what?” she asked me back.

“Write songs. Composing music,” I said. She smile and faced me. Oh god! My heart is beating fast.

“Everyone can do it. Trust me. Someone with emotion can do this. This thing comes from heart not brain,” she said to me.

“I guess, not everyone can do this,” I said. She smile and give me a piece of paper.

“Try it. Write something. Something that played in your mind. Use your heart to arrange the words,” she said.

So, I write something on the paper that she gives me. This is what I write down.

~Hikari’s POV~

“Here’s. Take a look at this. I think this fits what you write,” he returned the paper that I gave him just now. I take it and read it.

I ask myself

Do I have feeling to you?

My heart says yes and that feeling always there in my heart

But can I confess that I love you?

Can I say that I want you?

But I know you have another love in your heart

Wow. That’s really what I feel right now.

“Ohno-kun. You’re pretty good at this. I wonder,” I was about to ask for his permission to use this for the song. My god, I’m desperate! The dateline is within a week. Please say yes, Ohno-kun!

“Nani?” he asked me.

“I wonder if I can use this for Hanako’s song. I promise to include your name as the lyrics writer. Onegaishimasu!” I asked him.

“Of course you can. I don’t mind. It’s my pleasure to help you,” he said.

~Satoshi’s POV~

“Arigatou gozaimashita,” she said while holding my hand. Her grasp is so warm. Like my Okaa-chan.

“I wanna stay here while you make the song, can I? Maybe I can help,” I asked her. She nodded. She starts taking a paper and write something.

~Satoshi’s POV~

“How’s the song, Ohno-kun?” Hanako asked me. Sho is waiting at his car.

“I believe it is finish already,” I said to her.

“Arigatou,” Hanako said. She walks to Sho’s car and enters it. The car disappear through the night.

I’ve heard that song. I even made it with Hikari. The song is my heart’s feeling. And also Hikari’s heart’s feeling. My feeling for her and her feeling for Sho.

~Hikari’s POV~

“Here’s the song,” I give the demo CD to Hanako. She take it.

“Silently Love You. It must be interesting,” she said and smiled.

~Hikari’s POV~

Hanako’s new single is released. I’m at the promotion of her single. She starts sings the song. The light is dimmer than before. A single spotlight is lighting on her. The crowd start clap their hands. I can see Sho’s happy face.

Time by time

Day by day

I go through with your smile

You’re always by my side

Cuz you say friendship is a part of our life

Time by time slowly past

Leaving me and my feeling

If I confess that I love you, will I regret it?

So, I decided to silently love you

I ask myself

Do I have feeling to you?

My heart says yes and that feeling always there in my heart

But can I confess that I love you?

Can I say that I want you?

But I know you have another love in your heart

I ask myself

Which is better for me?

With you or alone?

But my heart says

Let it be

Let just silently love you

Time by time slowly past

Leaving me and my feeling

If I confess that I love you, will I regret it?

So, I decided to silently love you

I’m feeling like crying. So, I choose to not to be there. I’ll go to the rooftop. I can stop my tears anymore.

~Satoshi’s POV~

Hanako is just finished the song. The light is bright again. I can see clearly how Hikari walk away from the hall. I choose to follow her. She headed to rooftop.

“I know how you feels,” I said to her. She looked at my face with a shock reaction. She quickly wiped away her tears and fake a smile.

“Ohno-kun, why you’re here? You’re supposed to be at the hall,” she told me.

“You shouldn’t be here too,” I said. Both of us are quiet. I feels so awkward. I’m sure she feels it too.

“The stars is beautiful, right?” she said while looking at the night sky. She’s obviously tried to cheer the atmosphere. She still wear that fake smile.

“Stop faking your smile. I know you’re not happy,” I said.

“What are you talking about?” she burst a nervous laugh. “I’m okay. I’m completely happy,” she said.

“Let me reduce your pain,” I said.

“I’m not hurt or in pain. I’m perfectly okay,” she said. Try to convince me with her fake smile.

“Your smile is not in good condition. It’s not even real. I wanna make it real again. Like before. Before Sho dating Hanako,” I said.

“What are you talking about? This got nothing to do with Sho-kun or Hanako-san,” she said.

“Stop pretending. Cry if you want to. It’s completely okay. I wanna washed away your feeling for him. I love you,” I said. Finally I confessed.

“You’re so kind. But this is not fair for you. I afraid that I can’t love you. I don’t wanna hurt you. You’re too kind for me,” she said. She didn’t even look at my face.

“You can try. I promise that I will make you fall for me,” I said to her. I can see that she’s trying to stop her tears from rolling on her cheeks.

“I want you to cry at my shoulder. I want to make you happy. Please give me a chance,” I convinced her. Her tears is already falling. I hug her.

“I will try. I wanna fall into your kindness,” she said with sore voice. I know she’s crying.

I want her to know that I’m always for her. I want the chance to wrap the wound in her heart.

One year later…

~Hikari’s POV~

Today is my first birthday with him.

I wrote a song for Satoshi. Duet with Hanako. No doubt. He is my inspiration. This song about us. I’m no longer having feeling for Sho. I’m over him. He is my past. Now, I’m with my present. And maybe my future. The light is dimmer and dimmer. They starts singing.

I have a love before

But now I like you

I’ve thrown away my previous love

Cuz now I want you

I have been alone

Here, my space is so quiet

Even though I’m always laughing

But my heart is so quiet

Don’t say no

When we aren’t even trying

Who can know that

Your heart and mine will match

Many couples in love for years

But they break up at last

I’m hoping at you

Even though hard to say that

Our love will last

I have a love before

But now I like you

I’ve thrown away my previous love

Cuz now I want you

Don’t say no

When we aren’t even trying

Who can know that

Your heart and mine will match

Many couples in love for years

But they break up at last

I’m hoping at you

Even though hard to say that

Our love will last

Don’t say no

To be kiss, I’m confused

But this heart is vibrating

So, I beg you

Don’t say no

They stop singing. Satoshi come to me and give me a card. I open it and read it.

                Yesterday is a memory of the past.

                Tomorrow is a hope of the present.

                Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.

                Happy Birthday, sweetheart.

                                                                From,

                                                                Satoshi.

I opened another big paper. He drew our picture together.

“Happy Birthday, Ishihara Hikari,” he said.

---- 


Author's Note: The first song was written by me, it's fictional. The second song was the translation of "Jangan Bilang Tidak" (Don't Say No) by Raffi Ahmad and Ayushita.